Common Mistakes Made During Ramzan...

Most Muslims who fast in Ramadan focus on the benefits and rewards of it. But in doing so, we often make mistakes that instead of adding to our experience actually detract from it. Mistakes that can make us commercialize Ramadan as so many other religions have commercialized their sacred days. Insha’Allah the following will serve as a reminder to, first, myself and then to all Muslims. May Allah help us in spending our time wisely this Ramadan and help us in avoiding these mistakes. Ameen!


1. Taking Ramadan as a Ritual

For many of us Ramadan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting, too. We forget that it’s a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil. We forget to beseech Allah SWT to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Hell-Fire. Surely, we stay away from food and drink but that’s about it.

Although the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: Jibra’eel said to me, ‘May Allah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadan comes and his sins are not forgiven,’ and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you,’ and I said, ‘Ameen.” [Tirmidhi, Ahmad and others. It is classified as Saheeh by al-Albaani] 

2. Too much stress on food and drink

For some people, the entire month of Ramadan revolves around food. They spend the eintire day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking only about food, instead of concentrating on Salah, Quraan and other acts of worship. They think so much about food that they turn the month of ‘fasting’ into the month of ‘Feasting’. Come Iftar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks.

They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. Besides, it leads to wastage of food and extravagance. …and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance) [Qur’an, al-Araaf :31]
3. Spending all day cooking

Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking all day and all night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read the Qur’an. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan! 4. Eating too much
Some people stuff themselves at Saher until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to ‘make up for the food missed’. However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything.

The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.’ [Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. Classified as saheeh by al-Albaani]

Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless. It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.
5. Sleeping all day

Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) ’sleeping away their fast’. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people are also missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot ‘bear’ to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but negligence on his part.
6. Wasting time

The month of Ramadan is a very precious time, so much so that Allaah SWT calls this month ‘Ayyamum Ma’doodaat’ (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music to occupy their mind so that they won’t feel the hunger pangs. Subhaan Allah! Trying to obey Allah by DISOBEYING Him!?
7. Fasting but not giving up evil

Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam activities, buying lottery tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah, to increase our Taqwa.

‘O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)’ [Qur’an, al-Baqarah :183]

The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.’ [Bukhaari]
8. Skipping Saher (sehri)

The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘Eat Saher for in suhoor there is blessing.’ [Bukhaari, Muslim] and he (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘The thing that differentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor.’ [Muslim]
9. Not fasting if they missed Saher

Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Saher. However, this is an act kind of cowardice and love of ease. Missing a few morsels in the morning will, insha’Allah, not lead to death. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything. Saying the intention for fast out loud or saying a specific dua’a to start fasting are bid’ah. The intention is an action of the heart. We should resolve in our heart that we are going to fast tomorrow. That is all we need. It is not prescribed by the Shari’ah for us to say out loud. Also, there is no specific dua’a to be recited at the time of starting the fast in the Sunnah. Whatever ‘dua’a’ one may see on some papers or Ramadan calendars, etc. is Bid’ah.
10. Delaying opening fast

Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be ‘on the safe side’. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to open the fast, which means opening fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set (and not before). Aa’ishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (s.a.w.w.) used to do. [Muslim]

The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to open the fast.’ [Bukhaari, Muslim]

Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul (trust) on Allaah SWT and break your fast exactly on time.
11. Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up

Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss the Maghrib prayer. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish. 12. Missing the golden chance of having your Dua’a accepted
The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the time of breaking fast.

The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.’ [al-Bayhaqi, classified as saheeh by al-Albaani]

Instead of sitting down and making Dua’a at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it…Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your
Dua’as.

13. Fasting but not praying

The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the

Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.’ [Muslim]

In fact,none of his good deeds will be accepted; rather, they are all annulled.

‘Whoever does not pray ‘Asr, his good deeds will be annulled.’ [Bukhaari]
14. Fasting and not wearing Hijaab

Not wearing the Hijaab is a major sin as it is obligatory for Muslim women. (See Surah Nur, Surah Ahzaab). So fasting and not wearing hijaab certainly takes away, enormously, from the rewards of fasting.
15. Not fasting because of exams or work
Exams or work is not one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do it during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than ‘good grades’. Besides, if you will fulfill your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make your studies and other activities easy for you and help you in everything you do. ‘Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him. [Qur’an, Surah at-Talaaq :2-3]
16. Mixing fasting and dieting

Do Not make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (especially sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah alone. Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk.


17. Praying only on the night of the 27th Ramadan

Some people pray only on the 27th to seek Lailat ul-Qadr, neglecting all other odd nights, although the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said: ‘Seek Lailat ul-Qadr among the odd numbered nights of the last ten nights of Ramadaan.’ [Bukhaari, Muslim]
18. Wasting the last part of Ramadan preparing for Eid

Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. Even though, the

Prophet (s.a.w.w.) used to strive the most during the last ten days of Ramadan in worship [Ahmad, Muslim] and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadan to the utmost.

Aa’ishah (RA) said: ‘When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (s.a.w.w.) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i..e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his fa

mily.’ [Bukhaari and Muslim]
19. Iftaar parties
Although inviting each other for breaking fast is good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish ‘Iftaar parties’ with all sorts of disobedience to Allah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing. It’s not too late to rectify ones mistake and do good for the sake of Allah. Inform My servants that I am the Forgiver, Most Merciful. [Qur’an, al-Hijr:49] 

Ramadan, an Opportunity.....

Lesson 1: Gaining taqwa (fear of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala legislated fasting for gaining taqwa, "O you who believe fasting has been prescribed upon you as it has been prescribed upon those before you, so that you may attain taqwa." (meaning of Sooratul Baqarah (2):138) Tawqa in this case means, to make a shield between oneself and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's anger and hellfire. So we should ask ourselves, when we break our fasts, 'Has this fasting day made us fear Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala more ? Has it resulted that we want to protect ourselves from the hellfire ?'

Lesson 2: Drawing us closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala

This is achieved by reciting and reflecting on Al-Qur'an during the night and the day, attending the taraveeh prayers, remembering Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and his prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam, Also for those who can, making itikaf (seclusion) in the last ten days of Ramadan, However, the obedient worshipper feels closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and wants to worship Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala more, because Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'alaforgives and is merciful.

Lesson 3: Acquiring patience and strong will

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has mentioned patience more than seventy times in the Qur'an and has commanded patience in more than sixteen ways in His Book. So when one fasts, and gives up one's food and drink, for those hours, one learns restraint and patience. Lesson 4: Striving for ihsan (righteousness & sincerity) and staying away from riyaa’ (showing off)

Ihsan means to worship Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala as if one sees Him, for if one does not see Him, So when one is fasting, one should gain this quality of watching oneself and also staying away from riyah (showing off). That is why Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala said in a qudsi hadith, "..Fasting is for Me and I will reward it.." (Bukhari) Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala singles out fasting from all other types of worship saying, "..Fasting is for Me..", because no one knows whether you are fasting or not, except Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

Lesson 5: Refinement of manners, especially those related to truthfulness and discharging trusts.

The Beloved Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said,"Whoever does not abandon falsehood in word and action, then Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has no need that he should leave his food and drink." (Bukhari) And the Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said,"It may be that a fasting person attains nothing but hunger and thirst from his fast." (Ibn Majah) What we learn from this, is that we must pay attention to the purification of our manners. The Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallamsaid,"I was sent to perfect good manners." (Muwatta)

Lesson 6: Recognising that one can change for the better

The Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said,"Every son of Adam sins and the best of the sinners are those who repent." (Ibn Majah) Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala provides many opportunities to repent to Him and seek His forgiveness. If one was disobedient they can become obedient. Lesson 7:Being more charitable
Ibn Abbas Radi Allahu anhu said,"The Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam is the most charitable amongst the people, and he used to be more so in the month of Ramadan when Gibreel alayhis 'salam used to meet him on every night of Ramadan till the end of the month. The Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said, "He who gives food for a fasting person to break his fast, he will receive the same reward as him, without nothing being reduced from the fasting person's reward." (Tirmidhi )



Lesson 8: Sensing the unity of the Muslims

The Prophet Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said, "...Those of you who will live after me, will see many differences. Then you must cling on to my Sunnah and the Sunnah of the rightly guided khalifah. Hold fast to it and stick to it.." (Abu Dawud) It is possible for Muslims to be a single body, but this will only be achieved when obedience is only to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and His Rasool Salla Allahu 'alayhi wa Sallam one senses unity, because the Muslims pray and fast together.

PREPARING FOR RAMADHAN ! ! ! !~

In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaykum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakaatuh

Preparing for Ramadhaan

Ramadaan is just round the corner. It's never too late to start preparing for it. A good reminder and beneficial tips to get ourselves prepared & enjoy Ramadaan at its fullest.
Ayesha (radhi-Allaahu anha) said: "I have never seen Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam fast in month of the year more than he did in Sha3baan. He used to fast all of Sha'baan." and in another narration. "He used to fast almost all of it, except a little." [Saheeh Muslim]
The scholars' advice is to fast a lot in sha3baan, and increase acts of worship in the same way, by getting up at night for Taha jjud, more Qur'aan, and more Dhikr and to make it a month of 3Ibaadah, to prepare ourselves for Ramadaan.
Sweetness of any Ibaadah does not com e straight away. It requires a lot of patience and striving. We have to start early to taste the sweetness of Ibaadah in Ramadaan.
One of the salaf said: "I strove hard to do Qiyaam al-Layl (supererogatory prayers offered at night) for twenty years, and I enjoyed it for the next twenty years."
Before running a marathon one has to do some preparation. In the same way, we need to do some Preparatory/ Warm Up exercises.
1st Exercise:
We have to renew our Tawbah (repentance) and practice perfecting it. Tawbah is a lifetime affair. We have to clean our hearts from all the dirt, junk and rust of the sins before we decorate & fill them with the beautiful, powerful acts of worship in Ramadaan.
We have to make Tawbah from:
1. Sins of the tongue (backbiting, lies, slander, speaking to people in an insulting way, making fun of others).
2. Sins of the heart (show-off, self admiration, arrogance, envy, hatred)
3. Lack of modesty (in dressing, mannerism, way of speaking with the Non-Mahrams)
4. Tawbah from pleasing others while its displeasing to Allaah
5. Tawbah from all the time wasted (in shopping, telephone, long chat, browsing net).
Clean up your heart, forgive others and forget, hoping for Allaah's forgiveness.
When making Tawbah, remember that there is no sin too great/huge that Allaah does not forgive. Be confident that Allaah will forgive your sins.
2nd Exercise:
Increase your level of motivation by increasing Ibaadah (act of worship) during Sha'baan.
1. Pray/increase the nawafil (supererogatory) prayers.
2. Pray Du'aa (If you are already praying, increase the raka3h)
3. Tahajjud (night prayer)
4. Fast (Monday & Thursday / make up your missed fast)
5. Morning and Evening Adhkaar (these are protection/shield against Jinn &Shayateen. Do not leave them ever)
6. Make a lot of Du3aa' (at last 3rd part of night, accepted times, last hour of Friday)
7. Read Qur'aan after Fajr.
3rd Exercise:
We need to train our senses (tongue/ears/eye-sight). These are the avenues/ways to the heart. We have to train them to get them used to the act of worship and to refrain from sins.
We have to train ourselves/our nafs to hate the sins. Naturally our fitrah (inborn natural state) hates sins, but we have be com e so accustomed to sins that we have be com e numb to them. Prophet Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam said:" Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart (by hating it and feeling that it is wrong)." (Narrated by Muslim, 49).
All this is part of cleaning the inside/heart/soul for Ramadaan to take effect & to feel the real sweetness of 3Ibaadah.
4th Exercise:
Train your self to humiliate/break yourself apart before Allaah. Understand that you are in desperate need of Allaah.
Human beings transgress when they feel self sufficient. Teenagers rebel against parents when they feel they no longer need them. Ask Allaah to keep us steadfast upon His Path, we are in desperate need of Allaah to survive in our Dunya and Deen. If Allaah doesn't keep us steadfast on his way, we can never last!
We are in need of Allaah to fulfill any act of worship. We have to realize ourselves how badly we are in need of Allaah for everything.
5th Exercise
Magnify the symbols of Allaah.
Salaah (prayer), Hajj, Fasting, Masaajid, these are all the symbols of Allaah. We should magnify and elevate the symbols of Allaah. We should not take these acts of worship routinely and lightly. We have to give them their right & take them as something huge/heavy and serious.
Having Ghaflah (heedlessness) is very dangerous to our religion. We must awake ourselves.
Ramadaan is a big symbol of Allaah. It com es once a Year. The doors of Jannah are open, doors of Jahannam are closed, Allaah is boasting to His angels about people, it has "laylatul-Qadr".
One way to help to magnify the symbols is to get ourselves used to reflecting on acts of worship before we do them. e.g., when you are starting the salaah, reflect and think:
"I am about to pray, I am going to meet Allah, put Jannah (Paradise) to your right and the Naar (Hellfire) to your left, think what if I am on the Siraat (Path over Hellfire on day of Judgement) now?"
The nafs will start talking and reminding you of this and that, say be quiet I am the only one talking now and I am talking to Allaah.
Keep struggling and fighting to have Khushoo (humility and attentiveness) in Salaah and Allaah will grant it.

IMPORTANCE OF THE PRAYER..!!!!

The importance of the prayer in Islam cannot be understated. It is the first pillar of Islam that the Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned after mentioning the testimony of faith, by which one becomes a Muslim. It was made obligatory upon all the prophets and for all peoples. Allah has declared its obligatory status under majestic circumstances. For example, when Allah spoke directly to Moses, He said,

"And I have chosen you, so listen to that which is inspired to you. Verily, I am Allah! There is none worthy of worship but I, so worship Me and offer prayer perfectly for My remembrance." [Taha 13-14]

Similarly, the prayers were made obligatory upon the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) during his ascension to heaven. Furthermore, when Allah praises the believers, such as in the beginning of surah al-Muminoon, one of the first descriptions He states is their adherence to the prayers.

Once a man asked the Prohpet (peace be upon him) about the most virtuous deed. The Prophet (peace be upon him) stated that the most virtuous deed is the prayer. The man asked again and again. The first three times, the Prophet (peace be upon him) again answered, "The prayer," then on the fourth occasion he stated, "Jihad in the way of Allah." [This is form a hadith recorded by Ahmad and ibn Hibban. According to al-Albani, the hadith is hasan. Muhammad Nasir al-Din al-Albani, Sahih al-Targheeb wa al-Tarheeb (Beirut: al-Maktab al-Islami, 1982), vol. 1, p. 150]

The importance of prayer is demonstrated in the many of the Prophet’s statement. For example, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

"The first matter that the slave will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad." [Recorded by al-Tabarani. According to al-Albani, it is sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol.1, p. 503.

The importance of the prayers lies in the fact that no matter what actions one performs in his life, the msot important aspect is one’s relationship to Allah, that is, one’s faith (imaan), God-consciousness (taqwa), sincerity (ikhlas) and worship of Allah (`ibaadah). This relationship with Allah is both demonstrated and put into practice, as well as improved and increased, by the prayer. Therefore, if the prayers are sound and proper, the rest of the deeds will be sound and proper; and if the prayers are not sound and proper, then the rest of the deeds will not be sound and proper, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself stated.

In reality, the prayer is performed properly – with true remembrance of Allah and turning to Him for forgiveness – it will have a lasting effect on the person. After he finishes the prayer, his heart will be filled with the remembrance of Allah. He will be fearful as well as hopeful of Allah. After that experience, he will not want to move from that lofty position to one wherein he disobeys Allah. Allah has mentioned this aspect of the prayer when He has said,

"Verily, the prayer keeps one from the great sins and evil deeds" (al-Ankaboot 45). Nadwi has described this effect in the following eloquent way,

Its aim is to generate within the subliminal self of man such spiritual power, light of faith and awareness of God as can enable him to strive successfully against all kinds of evils and temptations and remain steadfast at times of trial and adversity and protect himself against the weakness of the flesh and the mischief of immoderate appetites. [Nadwi, p. 24]

The overall affect that the properly performed prayers should have upon humans is described in other verses in the Quran:

 "Verily, man was created impatient, irritable when evil touches him and niggardly when good touches him. Except for those devoted to prayer those who remain constant in their prayers…" (al-Maarij 19-23). 

I am a Muslim but Only by Name.....!!!!!

A good poem..try to reflect our selves

I am a Muslim but Only by Name
I am a Muslim, but only by name
When it comes to practising, what a shame!
I go to friends and relatives in suit and tie
It’s alright if I occasionally lie
Yes I practise, BUT when it suits me
Or more to the point, when it pleases society.
If I show my ankles, they’ll point and laugh
They’ll think it’s too short and reckon I’m daft.
If I trim my moustache and grow the beard
They’ll reckon I’m a fanatic or something weird.
If I wear the sunnah I’ll get great reward
But the Kuffaar will look down on me, that I can’t afford.
Yes I’m a Muslim, but only by name
I make excuses which I admit are rather lame.
Yes I’m a sane man and I’m on the right track
Who am I kidding, I feel like a right jack!
To hide my inferiority complex I protest it’s unimportant
Though my heart screams to tell me I’m a blatant fraudulent
The best thing is no-one can hear what’s going on inside
People think I’ve got it made and with my life I’m satisfied.
But I’m afraid this is a fable and it’s a pure deception
I have no peace of mind but this I daren’t even mention.
If I remain ignorant it’s OK, ‘cos then I don’t have to practise
Yes I’m conniving and these are baseless evil tactics.
But I read the Kalima and I think I have Imaan
I can’t help my attitude I was placed in a Kufrstaan.
Yes I’m a Muslim but only by name
And with my precious life I’m playing a foolish disastrous game!

THE ELEGANT HIJAB

The pea is a splendid plant. It proudly displays its strong green Hijab. It protects it from the hot and cold weather and guards it from insects. Allah has blessed the pea with a special Hijab, because without it, the seeds would scatter, dry up and die.

The orange keeps itself within its shiny orange Hijab to protect its delicious fruit. Otherwise it loses its taste too.

So are the banana, the coconut and the pomegranate. Each one has an elegant and unique Hijab, which protects it from disease and destruction. 

The jewel of the sea, the pearl, has been given a very tough and rugged Hijab - oyster shell. It protects it from sea animals and keeps it sparkling and shining inside.

However, the most beloved of Allah in all His creation is the Muslim girl who wears the Hijab. She knows it is a gift from Allah. It protects her from harm, injury and mischief. She wears it knowing it gives her dignity, beauty and respect. So precious she can be that she hides herself beneath her Hijab.




Do you wear a Hijab? Give it a try today???

"And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful" (Al Quran An-Nur:31)

"O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outergarments (jilbabs) close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle." (Al Quran Al-Ahzab:59)

whether boys and girls relationship in teenage is allowed in islam or not??!!

  Zina (fornication) has become a common place occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how can such a situation occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key’. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of “no boyfriend” when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?

The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahatma (non-Mahatma is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.

At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or ‘an affair’. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, and sexual diseases – the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community.” [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim]. But what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished – he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: the Prophet (s.a.w) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].

At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad] and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.

Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon:

Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgement) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah. [Bukhari and Muslim].

Below are more points on how to help your child, at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older, you make sure that it is put into practice.

You must teach him or her to:

1. Not to freely mix with the opposite sex.

2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts…” [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “…do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second.” [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust. [Bukhari]

3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahram. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) “…do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you…” [33:32]

4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with T-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.

5. It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (s.a.w) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.a) reported that the Prophet (s.a.w) was more shy than a virgin in her own room. [Bukhari] If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha’ Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called ‘the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship’.

What led to this?

There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at is the girl’s raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.

Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl’s behavior?

Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a “geek”.

Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends. Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy. Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.

Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it, therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere. Whereas the latter demands it from her parents. There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.

How to approach them?

When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative (“You did this to…”) and judgmental (“You are so…”), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation (“Why did you…?”). This only adds to their daughter’s defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using “should”, “don’t” and all other negative words. Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it (“Do you mean…?”), acknowledge it (“You feel… because…”) and empathize with it (“You sound really…”). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.

Insecurity

Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her “bad” behaviors, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviors and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter.

Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).

Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam’s position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, mother of Prophet Eesa (a.s), is one great example.

Don’t forget about the boys

Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worse position, the same parents are complacent,. feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.

Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.



pls spread this message as much as you can

Why I prefer Kerala to most other places

        This post is to counter argue what most people say about Kerala. Most say that they can’t lead a good life because they live in Kerala, Especially for teenagers like me. And who can blame them? Here you have easy access to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc. Here you can flirt with any girl without any problems from elders. You can also have special relationships with any of them. (We put it as lines and crushes). Many ask “how can I lead a life according to Islamic shariah in such a corrupt place “.     

          But let’s look at the plenty of opportunities that lies for us in this place to gain reward in the hereafter. 
           When you are returning from school in a private bus, you will come across many girls from other schools in the streets. With every passing girl that I and you don’t look at you will gain reward from Allah(easy isn’t it). Believe me; I and you won’t get this opportunity in Saudi Arabia.  Similarly a girl who follows the Islamic hijab will be ridiculed by her classmates (especially if she is studying in Christian missionary schools like ). But she should understand that she will get more reward from Allah than the girl living in Saudi Arabia. Because the girl in Saudi Arabia follows the hijab partially because she fears the law. Same is the case with boys wearing pants above the ankles. Such boys will be considered a geek(or motor) by his classmates. Similarly is the case with flirting. The more I and you stay away from it, the better it gets.   

                     Besides the bad things prevailing in Kerala. There are a whole lot of good people here to interact with. There are mosques at every corner, good Quran classes and also camps which constantly reminds us of the hereafter.

            Lead a life fearing Allah, your creator and sustainer. Ignore what the society thinks about you. When you control your temptations in this cruel society life will be easier for you. And remember, with each and every anti Islamic things that I and you ignore, we will get rewarded.

                Please leave your comments on this topic

why women shouldnt post their photos in facebook or any other social networking sites

ok , now 10 years ago if i had asked this question to anyone ,  the answer would have been simple.
It is not allowed because people may download the photos  or the "fb people " may use it for other purposes. this would have been our innocent reply
            but this is not 10years ago. presently we live in a age where we comment on any photos .We trust facebook more than our parents.(how else can we explain the photos in our profile which our parents haven't even seen) .so lets get into the details  
It is not allowed because
1.THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING 

           The numerous photos and albums that we post on fb is being viewed by the whole world .There is no point denying it .At least our profile pic  is being viewed by the world. Again, we trust facebook that they don't reveal the other photos to third parties.Facebook is  very insecure.Remember ,when we use different applications in facebook , they ask us for permission to access all our private data .These are third parties and we blindly check the box .Hackers can easily access  our photos and there is no question what they will do with them in this psycho world.
The second one is for people who say that they have "privatised" the viewership of their photos
2.ARE ALL OUR  FRIENDS TRUSTWORTHY?
 Now lets assume you have 400 friends
 20 of them are your meher(i know i am bit generous , because your cousins are not your meher)  
 That leaves you with 380, out of which we can again assume 300 are girls
  Which leaves us with 80 men . they consist of

•  your friends in schools
• your cousins and relatives
• total unknowns 

Now all three are equally dangerous.All three are not allowed to view your photos or look (observe) at you.
So even if you argue that  "i don't have any unknowns" , the other two category remains .
3 TAKING PHOTOS ITSELF IS HARAM

Now , this is applied to both men and women   
This is also one thing which most people cant accept. (because taking photos has been well ingrained in the society)
lets see what the exceptions are
taking photos  is allowed  for

•  passports 
• applying for jobs
• identifying suspects 
• for making certificates and driving licenses etc

So taking photos in marriage parties  is haram.

people may argue that it is only made for  memories

but by taking photos , we are trying to match the creation of god 

also narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every image-maker will be in the Fire, and every image that he made will be made to appear to him and will torment him in Hell.”

This i sufficient proof that taking  photos is haram 

and it becomes even worse when it is for trivial things like posting on facebook